A Sunday Prayer: Three Idiots Named Dave

Yesterday, I watched Jefferson-Pilot's Lincoln Financial's coverage of Auburn's 34-0 demolition of Mississippi State. After viewing the game, I was moved to prayer; not for the Tigers' victory--beating State required no Divine assistance--but rather for the removal, at long last, of the Three Idiots Named Dave, whose abominable on-air blather has caused more Southerners to yell "YOU'RE A MORON!" at their television sets than even the accursed Lee Corso.

If there is a just and merciful God, surely He will strike down the Three Idiots Named Dave before they can drive more unsuspecting SEC fans to the point of televisiocide.

Good grief, those guys just keep getting worse every year. What do we have to do to rid ourselves of their upspeakable awfulness? Check out this clip from yesterday, in which one Dave, referring to a shot at a press box window, is trying to figure out which coach pictured is State offensive coordinator Woody McCorvey. "He's the one to the right," quoth the Dave.



Two problems with that statement: the camera wasn't pointed at the Mississippi State coaches box, which led directly to problem two: the coach "on the right" was wearing an Auburn cap--because he's actually AU assistant Terry Price.

For those blessed enough to not have to watch JP LF Sports, there is absolutely nothing unusual about the above buffoonery. The 3IND regularly get player and coach names wrong (Auburn's starting center is apparently "Joe Cox," not Joe Cope), mis-call straightforward plays, and endlessly, endlessly fill the airways with Master Of The Obvious lines like, "What you don't want to do here is turn the ball over!"

Please, please, please, Lord. On this Sunday we beseech Thee: deliver us from the Three Idiots Named Dave, or at least permit them not to bring their shattering stupidity into the stadium of Jordan and Hare evermore.

Amen.