Thanks Where They're Due

I will confess up front that I am not much of a fan of Sports Illustrated, but I'd be a cad indeed if I didn't thank SI's webmasters for including FTB in their short list of Auburn-related sites at CNNSI's Auburn team page.

Like the man said in The Kentucky Fried Movie, you haff my gwatitude.

Looking Forward: Auburn

My apologies (again) for not getting anything posted the last few days. Suffice to say, real life takes priority over blogging, and real life has been busy.

At any rate, I ought to get in at least something of a post on expectations for 2007. I'll break from my own tradition this time around and start out with Auburn, and I might as well jump in with what scares me.

After jumping out to a solid start in the opener against Washington State, Auburn took a giant step backwards offensively in 2006. The backfield was riddled with injuries, the receiving corps was an object lesson in what happens when you lose three thousand-yard receivers to graduation, and the line was rarely better than average. Even so, a battered Brandon Cox could usually move the football between the twenties, and with an all-senior kicking game and usually-solid defense, that was enough to win in eleven games, two of those against the eventual #1 and #2 teams in the final polls.

I wish I could say that I expect things to be much better in 2007, but frankly, I can't. I'm not worried about Cox, or at least about his play. I am worried about his health, particularly given the youth of four of the five guys charged with protecting him. If Cox absorbs another 34 sacks this year, the record isn't likely to be pretty. I also wish I could say that I trust Hugh Nall to coach up the line, but frankly, I don't. I do think Nall is capable of doing so, but his lack of consistency from year to year just doesn't inspire a lot of confidence.

Auburn has quality running backs and tight ends stacked up from here to Sylacauga, but as of A-Day, I didn't see any receivers who could get open down the field. Phillip Marshall, who's seen the August practices, thinks the receiver problems have been solved, and I sincerely hope he's right, but I'll have to see it before I believe it. I'd also like to see the fireworks return to Al Borges' attack (and I don't mean that flea-flicker from the Georgia game, Al) after a season in the doldrums; happily, I am optimistic on that front.

Unhappily, I am less optimistic about an all-freshman kicking game. This is probably as good a time as any to dredge up Dye's Law, which states, You're going to lose a conference game for every true freshman you have to start. I'm not making a prediction here, but there are two true freshmen starters in the current Auburn two-deep, and one of them is Wes Byrum, the placekicker (the other is offensive tackle Lee Ziemba). I'm not saying that freshmen can't perform on special teams, but I am saying that having freshmen on the field tends to make weird things happen. Sometimes those things are good, but more often they are not. Suffice to say, the kicking game makes me nervous.

With all that hand-wringing out of the way, I'm quite happy to say that I expect great things out of the 2007 Auburn defense. Up front, the only SEC team that can even touch Auburn in quality or depth is LSU (which has beaucoup of both, and then some). Auburn has traded some experience for talent at linebacker, but I don't expect to see any significant fall-off there. I do think the secondary will miss David Irons, but I suspect an improved pass rush and more experience coming back at safety will help cushion the blow.

What I'm really expecting out of this defense is consistency. The 2006 defense was good enough to hold LSU to three points (chew on that for a while, Notre Dame snobs), but also bad enough to get shredded by a good Arkansas and mediocre Georgia. I think it's more than reasonable to expect much more consistent performance in DC Will Muschamp's second year. With the exception of freshman backup free safety Mike McNeil, everybody in the two-deep has had a couple of years in the system now, and that ought to mean a much more cohesive squad, one that can change looks and coverages with fewer mental breakdowns. The talent and schemes are certainly there, now it's just a matter of execution. With senior leadership from quarterback-killer Quentin Groves, I like this defense's odds.

Let's just be up-front about the schedule: it stinks, even the home slate. After the more than respectable opening pair of Kansas State and South Florida (the latter of which is the really worrysome opponent in my eyes), Auburn doesn't have an eye-opening opponent at home until the Tolbert Game at the end of the season. This isn't to say that none of the visiting conference teams will be any good; anybody in the SEC can trip you up if you aren't careful. Vanderbilt (which probably has its best team in a generation) and Ole Miss (which gave an error-plagued Auburn fits last year) could both be trap games if AU isn't mentally ready, and let's face it, nobody wants to get Croomed.

And of course, the road schedule speaks for itself. In point of fact, it kind of sounds like Hannibal Lecter. Beyond Auburn's traditional second home in Sanford Stadium, none of the road sites are places where the Tigers usually play well, and all four of the road opponents (Florida, Arkansas, LSU and Georgia) should have pretty good teams, at the very, very least.

I hate to put a damper on expectations, but splitting that slate would probably be a hell of an accomplishment. Problem is, Auburn will certainly have to go at least 3-1 on the road to have any hope of making it to Atlanta the first week in December. As the aforementioned Dr. Lecter remarked upon sizing up a Kenyan marathoner, "That's going to be tough."

Six Days And Counting

First up, my apologies for the extremely light blogging here during the off-season. It's been a very busy year so far, but still, I ought to have kept FTB much more up-to-date than it has been. Many thanks to all the regular readers who've been checking in to (usually) no avail. I'm very happy to say that with less than a week to go before the season kicks off (to be more precise, before LSU kicks the ever-loving corn dogs out of Mississippi State), I've finally got enough breathing room to get some SEC blogging in.

More to follow today, and over the weekend as we all get ready for some FOOTBAW.

Burying The Lede

The Birmingham News waits until the end of a snoozer Hoovergate follow-up story to get to the interesting part today:

Hoover and University of Alabama officials have not said which grade will be used if they re-evaluate Chapman's eligibility. NCAA spokeswoman Jennifer Kearns declined to discuss the case.

Speaking generally, Kearns said the NCAA would look at academic credentials after an athlete is certified - as is the case with Chapman - if "questions or irregularities" arose.

Kearns said all grade changes are reviewed by the NCAA Clearinghouse and Eligibility Center to confirm changes were made in accordance with the high school's policy.

If grade changes are made "late in the game," Kearns said, the institution must file an initial eligibility waiver for the change.

"If there is evidence of academic fraud, an investigation would likely be triggered," Kearns said.

Hoovergate Rising

It took a couple of months, but the full story behind the academic shenanigans at Hoover High in metro Birmingham is finally breaking. I have to admit that I'm completely shocked to have read this in the Birmingham News, but credit where it's due, the paper has stayed behind this story amidst what had to be incredible pressure to spike it:

Counselors at Hoover High School this spring sent a second, different transcript for a football player to the University of Alabama after the university called to say the player was unexpectedly ineligible, according to the high school's former principal.

The second transcript contained a grade change that was "an honest mistake" and that made the player eligible, said Richard Bishop, who has sued the school system over his dismissal as principal.

The player is Josh Chapman, a highly recruited freshman defensive tackle at Alabama, The Birmingham News has learned.

The grade change is one of several allegations involving academics at Hoover High that are being investigated by retired federal judge Sam Pointer Jr. on behalf of the school system.

Some other allegations involve whether a teacher was pressured to give a certain grade to a football player. The News has learned that player is Kerry Murphy, a highly rated Alabama signee who failed to qualify academically this year and is attending prep school.

The University of Alabama declined to comment about Chapman's case. Messages left with Chapman were not returned, and Alabama denied an interview request to speak with him.
...

Pointer's probe also includes complaints of a teacher feeling pressure from Borie and Martin over another senior football player's grades. The News has learned the student was Murphy.

Bishop said teacher Nikki Townsend reported to him in February that she felt pressured by Borie and Martin, who was the ninth-grade assistant principal at the time.

The contract for Townsend, who was Murphy's English teacher last year, was not renewed at Hoover and she now teaches at Vestavia Hills High School. She declined to comment.

Ivan In Auburn

ESPN's Ivan Maisel was in Auburn today to check out the official arrival of the freshman class. Some very nice work from Mobile-native Maisel here, peeking into a world most fans never see:

All of a sudden, the players against whom these prized freshmen will line up can be four years older and stronger. That's where football equipment manager Jim Vanzandt comes in to protect them.

Vanzandt measured the scholarship freshmen over the summer for their helmet and pad sizes. He measured the invited walk-ons on Wednesday. Many freshmen don't realize he knows what he is doing.

"In high school, their pads didn't fit them," said Vanzandt, who has been working at Auburn since 2002. "They managed to protect themselves by being bigger and faster. Your helmet should fit tighter than they're used to and their shoulder pads should be tighter. Some of the defensive linemen will literally get their helmets slapped off their heads. They've never been slapped by somebody this big and fast."

Good stuff. Regardless of who you root for, read the whole thing.

... And There Was Much Rejoicing

After a six-month hiatus, Tony "I'm The Only Reason To Read The AJC" Barnhart's college football blog is back, featuring Barnhart's take on the toughest and easiest schedules in the SEC (and the ACC, but c'mon, who cares? Okay, I admit it--six weeks from the season kickoff, I care. A little, anyway).

Today's other reading assignment is this summary of Auburn's 2007 prospects from Steve Megargee at Rivals.com. It's an excellent rundown of the good (defense), bad (road schedule) and ugly (all-freshman kicking game) ahead of the Tigers this fall. I could probably come up with a quibble here or there if I really tried, but I'd have to work at it. Very solid and knowledgeable work by Megargee.

Full disclosure: I did some freelance work for Rivals from 2001-2003. I've never met Steve Megargee.

Cracking

Birmingham News staff writer Joe Solomon, in a column today:

Academic impropriety in athletics is hardly new. What's changed is that across the country - and lately at Hoover - high school teachers trying to teach prominent athletes, not enable them, are facing more pressure than ever before.
...

At some high schools, teachers - especially those without tenure - face mounting pressure to not just pass athletes, but give them high grades to offset a low test score.
...

College coaches can use charm to subtly apply pressure on teachers. What high school teacher or administrator doesn't feel a little flushed when a multi-millionaire coach shakes his or her hand?

There are some teachers and administrators who believe that a player will become a success in life only through athletics. It's this type of enabling that ensures the player will become a janitor in five years after he blows out a knee.

Who wants to be known as the person who prevented Joe Star from playing at State U? It's easier - check that, it's safer - to do what you're told and move on with your life.

It's not entirely clear what's been happening at Hoover.

Oh, I don't know about that. Reading between the lines, I'd say Solomon has a very good idea of what's been happening at Hoover, and of which college's coaches and boosters may have been applying pressure to get grades changed.

A math teacher said a final grade was changed for one of his students, a football player, without his consent so the player could be eligible in college. Another teacher went to the school system's assistant superintendent concerned she would lose her job - which she did - because she resisted pressure to boost another player's grade.

This is still the Bamaham--uh, I mean, Birmingham News, though, and I really don't expect that particular college to be named first in its pages, no matter how many stories about Hoover High make it to press. You have to tip your hat to the already-developing spin; I wonder whose bright idea it was to try and deflect the blame to the NCAA?

Speaking of spin and what information makes it to the public, there's also this out of Hoover today:

A retired federal judge investigating possible academic impropriety involving athletes at Hoover High said Monday he will report his findings to the Hoover Board of Education, which will then decide whether to make the findings public.

Sam C. Pointer Jr., who met Monday with Superintendent Andy Craig to discuss the investigation, said he cannot promise anonymity to sources he interviews.

"I don't know whether the board will say, `Let's let it all hang out,' or if the board will say, `Let's at least protect names of people,'" Pointer said.

A.W. Bolt, a member of the school board, said his understanding is Pointer will examine allegations of grade fixing or changing for athletes and efforts to pressure teachers. Bolt said he supports making the report public, but will initially treat it as a confidential attorney-client communication.

"I'll have to read it and see if there are things in it that I think should not or could not be made public," Bolt said. "My hope is this particular attorney-client communication will be made public."

Secret investigations? A board determining whether or not to release results to the public? Why, it's almost... machine-like, isn't it?

UPDATE: I completely missed Kevin Scarbinsky's Sunday column, which meant I also missed this reference to the Ghost of Violations Past:

[Hoover principal Richard] Bishop has been a high school football coach himself. He's been an assistant at Emma Sansom in Gadsden when Gene Jelks played there and a head coach at Gaston and Cherokee County.

The principal likes football so much that when Alabama's new head coach visited Hoover during the spring evaluation period, Bishop had a sign posted in the front office.

The sign said, "Welcome, Coach Saban."

Yeah, I'd say Scarbinsky knows the score, too.

Breaking

From today's Birmingham News, the real story that's been lurking behind the scenes for months finally sees the light of day:

A math teacher at Hoover said Thursday a final grade was changed for one of his students, a senior football player, without his consent. And an assistant superintendent for Hoover schools confirmed that a teacher came to her this year concerned about losing a job over another senior football player's grade.
...

A Hoover teacher in February met with Assistant Superintendent Jan Dennis and said she felt pressure over an athlete's grades and was concerned about losing her job, according to Dennis, who is on sick leave until the end of June after the school board fired her in May. Dennis has said the reason she was given for her firing was her friendship with former Superintendent Connie Williams.

The teacher told Dennis an athlete had been transferred into her class and it didn't appear he would make a grade needed to be eligible to play college football, according to Dennis. She would not identify the teacher but said she taught a core academic class. She would also not identify the student.

To be eligible for an athletic college scholarship, athletes must have a certain grade-point average in core classes - English, math, physical/natural science and social science - that corresponds to an SAT or ACT score on a sliding scale.

The teacher, who would have earned tenure if she were renewed this year, was not renewed by the school board, Dennis said.

The teacher said she understood the expectation was that the athlete had to make a B, but she thought that was unlikely even with the extra help she was giving him, Dennis said.

Dennis said the teacher told her she asked for an administrative meeting to talk about expectations and how the student was doing. At the meeting, an administrator said the student needed to make a B in her class, but no plan was offered for how to achieve that, Dennis said she was told.

"My advice to her at that point was, `Help him like you help all your other students. Keep documentation about what you're doing. Don't do anything unethical to compromise your professional judgment,'" Dennis said. "`But do everything you can to help him achieve the best grade he can achieve in your class.'"

According to Dennis, the teacher later told her that another of the player's instructors informed her in March that the new plan was for the student to get a C, but again without offering a means for that to happen.

"Instead of having to come to the board (central office) to talk with the assistant superintendent about this, ideally she would have been able to go to the principal of the school, but the teacher did not feel comfortable doing this," Dennis said.

The teacher believes she lost her job because she resisted the pressure to give a certain grade, according to Dennis.

Dennis said she is speaking publicly because she believes what happened is wrong, and described the teacher as an "excellent educator."

Bishop said the school system does not have to give a reason for not renewing a teacher who does not have tenure, and said "that's merely speculation on the employee who was not renewed."

Hoover superintendent Andy Craig has hired former federal judge Sam C. Pointer, Jr., an Alabama Law School alumnus, to investigate the matter. Based on information that hasn't gone public yet, there's at least one conflict of interest in Pointer's "independent" investigation, but we'll see where things go from here.

Developing

In today's Birmingham News:

Hoover High School's principal said Wednesday he investigated concerns from his athletics director that athletes were receiving preferential academic treatment, but said they were "unfounded" and based on rumor.

Athletics Director Jerry Browning, though, said his concerns came from several teachers and coaches who approached him this year questioning how some athletes acquired grades and whether they deserved what they were given.

Principal Richard Bishop said Browning raised issues to him about the college eligibility of athletes before meeting with Superintendent Andy Craig. Craig confirmed Tuesday he is investigating Browning's concerns but would not elaborate on the specifics.

The phrase "fox guarding the henhouse" springs to mind here. A suggestion for our friends in the press: have a look into the backgrounds and recent actions of the people involved here (and not just the ones mentioned in the News articles). You'll learn some interesting things. Continuing:

Donna Frazier, president of the Hoover school board, said she is concerned that Browning is leaving Hoover, a national powerhouse, for Saint James, a much smaller Class 4A school.

"If there's something that's going on, I do want to get to the bottom of it," said Frazier, adding she hopes to speak with Craig and Browning.

As noted previously, you will be hearing a lot more about this story in the future.

Something To Keep An Eye On

It might be a good idea to read and remember this story from Tuesday, June 19th's Birmingham News:

Jerry Browning resigned Monday as Hoover High School athletics director and accepted the same position at Saint James School in Montgomery.

Browning said he is leaving after three years because of "philosophical differences" with the current Hoover administration and the chance to spend more time with his family.

"There have been some changes this year that differ from my philosophical approach to education," said Browning, who declined to discuss specifics.

"My entire career, one thing that's very important to me is honesty, integrity, character development. Those are things that I cherish, and I think it's very important those things have to be maintained."

Attempts to reach Hoover Principal Richard Bishop for comment were unsuccessful.

First glance, this is a who-cares, especially if you don't live in Alabama... but a veritable flock of little birds are telling me that this won't be the last time you see the words "Hoover High," "athletics," "education" and "integrity" in the same newspaper article this summer.

Like I said, one to keep an eye on.

UPDATE: From Wednesday's News:

The superintendent for Hoover City Schools said Tuesday he is investigating concerns raised by Hoover High School's athletics director, who resigned Monday and took a job with a private school in Montgomery.

Superintendent Andy Craig said Jerry Browning, Hoover's athletics director for three years, came to him with concerns about the school's athletic programs before he resigned and took a job as athletics director at Saint James School.

Craig would not elaborate on the concerns, saying he did not want to speculate on anything that has not been confirmed.

"It's just too vague. There's nothing decisive," Craig said, adding that he is taking the concerns seriously.

When asked if the concerns related to the football program at Hoover, Craig paused and said: "It's not just football."

Not just football. Perhaps not just one recently-recruited football player, either.

Crossing The Line

A brief blurb from Sunday's Miami Herald is perking up ears in message board land this week.

Four months after his criticized departure from the Dolphins, Alabama coach Nick Saban received a celebrity-type reception at one school when he returned here for a recruiting trip last week. ''The faculty was excited,'' Fort Lauderdale Dillard coach Keith Franklin said. Security guards and administrators requested pictures with Saban, and he obliged. 'They said, `We love you here at Dillard,' '' Franklin said.

Kind of mildly interesting as a local-color piece, but it appears that the Herald missed the real story. The portion that's really getting attention follows (emphasis added):

Miami Northwestern defensive tackle Marcus Fortson and Hollywood Chaminade-Madonna linebacker Jordan Futch -- two of the top junior prospects in South Florida -- spoke with Saban and said he left a good impression. ''Good guy,'' Futch said.

Saban also approached Northwestern offensive lineman Brandon Washington, a UM oral commitment. 'He asked me if my heart was in Miami. I said, `No,' '' Washington said, adding there's a good chance he will sign with UM but wants to take other visits. Washington said the way Saban left the Dolphins ''bothered me'' and ''was on my mind,'' and he might not consider Alabama.

"Last week" would have been the week of May 14, which falls within the NCAA-mandated 2007 "Evaluation period" of April 15-May 31, when college coaches may evaluate potential recruits, but may not have actual contacct with those recruits. Based on this report, it appears that Alabama coach Nick "I am not going to be the Alabama coach" Saban" violated NCAA rules regarding contact with recruits on both occasions.

Evaluation - An evaluation is that period of time when it is permissible for authorized athletics department staff members to be involved in off-campus activities designed to assess the academic qualifications and playing ability of prospects. No in-person, off-campus recruiting contacts are made with prospects during an evaluation period.

Contact - A contact is any face-to-face encounter between a prospect or the prospect's parents or legal guardian and an institutional staff member or athletics representative during which any dialogue occurs in excess of an exchange of a greeting. Any such face-to-face encounter that is prearranged or that takes place on the grounds of the prospect's educational institution or at the site of organized competition or practice involving the prospect or the prospect's high school, preparatory school, two-year college or all-star team shall be considered a contact, regardless of the conversation that occ

At first glance, this looks like the kind of minor secondary violation that happens all the time, and frankly gives the NCAA's convoluted rulebook a bad name. Slap on the wrist and move on? Maybe... but maybe not. This note from Colorado's 2002 infractions case might indicate otherwise:

The report noted that the pattern of violations caused the case to rise to the "major" level. A significant number of the findings involved contact with prospects, or "bumping," during non-contact periods in the Spring when only evaluation is permitted. "When viewed separately," the committee's report said, "each of these contacts might be considered secondary; however, taken cumulatively, they reach the level of a major violation."

In testimony before the committee, representatives of the university, as well as former members of the football staff, including the former head coach, characterized the violations as "inappropriate pushing of the rules to their limits," or attempts to be inappropriately "creative." A former assistant football coach testified, "the former head coach had the attitude that he was not traveling to the high school of a prospect without encountering that prospect."

One former assistant football coach said he had "compromised" his integrity by "simply going along with the culture that was out there."

In its public report, the committee said it was taking "this opportunity to send an unequivocal message that the custom of 'bumping' prospects during non-contact periods is a violation of NCAA rules no matter how widespread the practice, and coaches who continue to do so will be held accountable for their actions."

Although the former head coach characterized the encounters as "inadvertent" since often times the high-school coach initiated them, the committee found that, "there was little indication of any attempt to discourage such contacts from occurring."

The committee report went on to say that the former head coach wanted to be seen by the prospect. "He recognized his celebrity status during visits to prospects' high schools and that his presence conveyed his special interest in the prospect," the report said.

That kind of practice does sound a bit familiar, doesn't it? As another former resident of south Florida once said, I think somebody's got some 'splainin' to do.

UPDATE: Forty-eight hours later, newspaper employees who've read blogs and message boards realize what they missed the first time. Advantage: FTB!

Sometimes It's Just Too Easy

Red, meet Neck. Again:

As early as mid-January, the Witts knew their second child was a boy, and they knew his name would be Saban.

That's right, Saban Hardin Witt, who was born Tuesday at about 5 p.m. in Decatur General Hospital, is named after Alabama head football coach Nick Saban.
...

The Witts of Hartselle named their first child, who is 23 months old, Tyde Timothy Witt. He's already attended several Alabama football games.

No mention whatsoever of either of the "Witts" ever having attended a single class at UAT, much less graduating, of course.

Sidewalk alums naming their kids after a football team (misspelling it along the way) and a coach who hasn't even had a spring game yet. Like I said, sometimes it's just too easy.

Today On "As The Pig Squeals..."

The latest casualty in Arkansas' ongoing soap opera: Athletic Director For Life (or so we'd all thought) Frank Broyles, who's apparently set to announce his resignation/retirement any day now.

On the one hand, if I were a Hog fan, I'd be inclined to think Broyles stuck around about ten years too long, and at the very least things ought to be less tumultuous with someone else in charge. On the other, there's about to be a power struggle of epic proportions over yonder in the Ozarks, and somebody--likely many somebodies--are not going to be satisfied with the eventual outcome.

Either way, I'm making some popcorn. It oughta be fun to watch.

Messy Divorce In Fayetteville

Over the last nine seasons, Arkansas Democrat-Gazette assistant managing sports editor Wally Hall has been as big of a cheerleader for Arkansas coach Houston Nutt as Nutt himself has been for his own team--and given Nutt's over-the-top sideline proclivities, that's really saying something. Come hell, high water, losing seasons, sniffing around other jobs and general restlessness on the part of the Arkie fan base, you could always count on Wally to come to Nutt's defense, usually including creative (to say nothing of outright fictional) cheap shots at other SEC teams and coaches along the way.

That long and happy marriage between head coach and local homer appears to be way, way over. Wally's column today is one of the more brutal lambastings of a coach and football program you're ever likely to read. A quick sample:

So, it was not Houston Nutt’s fault that his latest recruiting class ranked No. 9 in the SEC.

According to him, it was the media’s fault.

Well, no one in the media was continuously rude to Gus Malzahn.

No one in the media promised Malzahn and every Razorbacks fan that there would be a passing game.

No one in the media overruled Malzahn’s play calling.

No one in the media tried to hire David Lee as co-offensive coordinator behind Malzahn’s back (after a 10-victory season ).

No one in the media had anything to do with Malzahn’s decision to quietly leave the UA, take a cut in pay and go to a smaller school.

... and on and on and on, for some length. Check out the rest, if you're interested. Suffice to say, Wally has placed himself firmly on the side of Gus Malzahn and the Springdale Brat Pack in Arkansas' current civil war.

Nutt wasn't about to take all of that lying down, and called in to a local Arkansas radio show this morning to refute Hall's column--while Wally himself was apparently in the studio with the hosts. As far as I can tell, Wally didn't say a word of substance while Nutt was on the air. Once Nutt hung up, Wally muttered, "I stand by what I wrote," but didn't try to debate a single point while Nutt was on the line.

Not much fun for Arkansas fans, I'm sure... but for the rest of us, this is as entertaining as a Three Stooges marathon with no Shemps.

Forget The Press, Worry About The Orgeron

If I were Alabama Coach Nick "I am not going to be the Alabama coach" Saban, I wouldn't worry about sending out whiny press releases regarding the now-infamous "coonass" recording. I'd be worried about what's going to happen the next time I run into this guy:


When asked for comment on Saban, proud Cajun Ed Orgeron ripped his shirt off and replied, "YAW YAW YAW YAW YAW YAW YAW YAW--DEAD MEAT!"

What In The Wide, Wide World Of Sports Is Goin' On Here?

The No Fun League lives up to its name once again:

Die-hard football fans attending the Super Bowl game at Dolphin Stadium are getting a rude awakening after finding out that no tailgating of any type will be allowed on game day within one mile of the stadium.

"There is no tailgating allowed in the Dolphin Stadium parking lots," Sue Jaquez, a member of the Super Bowl XLI Host Committee, confirmed on Tuesday. "And there is no tailgating anywhere within a one-mile radius of the stadium." "And there are no RVs allowed."
...

The Dolphins do not organize and oversee the Super Bowl, Jaquez pointed out. Instead, those duties are left up to NFL officials. And because of security reasons, no pre-game partying on (or very near) the premises will take place. Fans spotted tailgating could face charges, Jaquez said.

Pathetic.

Mustain to Megadeth--uh, I mean, Tulsa

Thought the Arkansas soap operas were over? Think again:

Mike Irwin has learned Mitch Mustain is leaving the University of Arkansas. Independent sources confirm that Mitch is moving out of the Athletic Dorms this afternoon and won't be attending the University of Arkansas this spring. This comes after yesterday's announcement that UA Offensive Coordinator Gus Malzahn is leaving for the University of Tulsa.

Yeah, I think that'll get some attention in Pigville. Brace yourselves for a full-on Wally Hall jihad tomorrow morning.

Seriously though, Swine people, you are better off over the long term without the Springdale Brat Pack. It would have done your program no good whatsoever to tie your fortunes to that bunch of overgrown little leaguers--and I include the parents and coach in that description. You've had some good reasons to be mad at Houston Nutt over the years, but this ain't one of them.

Frank Broyles, well, that's another story.

Dennis Dodd And My Sister's Dog

Several years back, a pre-season game picking contest ran ads in magazines with the tag line, "So, you think you know more about college football than Lee Corso?" As I glanced at the grinning mug of that miserable coaching failure, the first thing that popped into my head was, "Actually, I'm pretty sure my sister's dog knows more about college football than Lee Corso."

And thus, the My Sister's Dog Award, given as necessary to sports mediots, was born. Today's winner is CBS Sportsline.com's Dennis Dodd. Dodd's online columns are easy pickings for mockery under normal circumstances, but Monday's pre-pre-preseason Top 25 is a real gem:

12. Auburn: Trips to Arkansas and Florida keep the Tigers from the top 10 and the SEC title. Have faith in the defense and in Carl Stewart to replace tailback David Irons.

It's not often that you see a national writer, working for a major network and presumably with at least one editor, make not one but two major goofs of fact in the same sentence.

Memo to Dodd: Carl Stewart is a fullback (and a darn good one). Not a cornerback, which was David Irons' position last season. Nor a tailback, which means he won't be replacing Kenny Irons in the offensive backfield; that duty falls to Brad Lester, who led the Tigers in touchdowns in 2006. You can look it up--if you could be bothered to check facts, that is.

(Just for the record, I don't have any beef with the actual ranking. Given AU's schedule and uncertain state on the offensive line, it's probably a bit generous.)

UPDATE: Either Dodd or his editor airbrushed in a correction (without noting it as such) on January 18.

This Looks Too Much Like Work

Check out this remarkable post from a Nebraska fan on Bill Callahan's fake-punt decision in the Cotton Bowl. No insult intended to Jeffie; it might be the most detailed psychological/mathematical analysis I've ever read of a single football play.

Good blog, too.